I Remember Loving This

I wrote this song/poem in the fall of 2004, on the first trip to the North Georgia mountains made by my family in many years (we had moved to the northeast). I was overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of this place that I loved...and was torn with regret that I had given up this beauty in order to find my place in the religious system of evangelical christianity. This song/poem helped me find the courage to walk out of the church...I hope it will be a blessing to you.


I remember loving this
canopy of stars at night
whisper whoosh of rolling creek
cradling in mountain arms
covering of ancient pine.

Now my world is white and gray
lived within these four square walls
bathed in pale fluorescent light
the hum of ballasts in the air
the tonal center of my life.

the only stars I see are pings of light
reflected off the dangling stones
in ears of women in the choir
creation framed by stucco, white,
stained glass yellowing the sky.

Blue gray carpet at my feet,
not needle brown and lichen green.
How did I travel so off course?
I took a trail I thought I knew
and stumbled to this other place...

where hymns are sung to empty space,
the last remains of what once was grace.